Fortune Cookies |
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However, I have it on good authority, that the fortune cookie idea was first introduced by an American running a Chinese restaurant in or around San Francisco in the late 1800's. Interestingly, when my wife and son (who are Chinese, born and raised) first saw “Chinese fortune cookies,” they both thought it must be some sort of french pastry, and — imagine the surpise on their faces when they bit in and found they had a small mouthful of paper! Anyway… what I’m leading to, is that I take the artistic license to call these quips or quotes or whatever they are “Fortune Cookies.” I figure if those restaurant owners can get by with it, I can too! So without further ado, here are ten randomly chosen (just for you) fortunes. May they serve you well!
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"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
— Steven Wright
"Twice I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to comprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." |
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. |
"Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House." |
"Nature gave man two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most." |
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." |
"He is so unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else." |
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." |
The bigger they are, the harder they hit. |
"Don't let your opinion sway your judgement." |